.M€M0!RS of my Soul.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

loneliness knows me by name

haven't been posting for awhile now. but right now i feel like a dam ready to burst and if these words cant be expressed i feel i might burst...

i dont know when it started and how, but when i started falling for her i truly believed that this would be my best chance of success, after time after time of rejections. but she proved to be the largest setback i faced. i knew i shouldn'e have kept my hopes up and should have juz concentrated on my army life and getting it over with without much mishap.

i dont know what i'm feeling inside of me now, maybe when i saw the picture and those fated words my feelings went with them. i just feel so empty and numb now. it feels like a cold flame, burning so cold and full of emptiness.

as i know from past experience, life will still go on, but right now, it feels like the longest night of my life. i feel lost like some one has stolen my compass and map and left me some where in the artic.

even as i write this i wonder, would there be a special someone for me somewhere out there, somehow i'm beginning to think that after all these failures, i'm never going to meet her, my destined other half....

posted at [10:56 PM]

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Saturday, April 11, 2009

yo peeps...

hahas, juz havent posted for quite some time now. well, RT is over thanks to my up and coming army daze. I have mae up my mind as to one more job i would highly likely not do... teach at a secondary school, hahas, though, i must admit it was quite fun while it lasted and rewarding in a certain sense too. but those considering this as you job option you should think well and reflect if that is your true passion as the job satisfaction will come so much later after you teach. Those that do become teachers, good job, its a really noble role to play..

went out with the 06/BA clique yesterday, KNOWING was good, as usual with nicholas cage being typecast into the role of the really smart guy (see national teasure 1 & 2). had a good meal at austons as well and i finally found the counter to icelemontea-siyiclarice combo [muahahahahahaha], italian coffee with oreo ice-blend.

ahh well going in to serve the nation soon-in a days time in fact- still dun feel anything out of the ordinary, i guess maybe my friend's theory of the positive and negative feelings negating each other might be the case elsewise i may be treating it as juz another camp and have gone thru so many that in fact i have become desentisized ready, albeit the exponential increase of swear words and physical tekaning of course..

yeah as to those going in on the same day as me, good luick and all the best! hope to see u in the same platoon as me..

posted at [12:26 PM]

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Monday, March 9, 2009

PSP woes...

(NOTE to reader: if you find the post repulsive at anytime or have adverse reaction to swearing do not read on for this post, else wise please be informed that the following excerpt is purely based on cold hard facts, in no part of the anecdote has it been exarated or deviate from the fact)

Buying a psp seems deceptively simply and straightforward... until then seller dupes you into thinking that the set has already been moded to play downloaded games and run all homebrew softwares and emulators, and after leaving you com on for 3days straight to download all sorts of applications and game as well as trawling through pages after pages of forums filled with technical jargon, you find out that you have paid too high a price to get the PSP and it is actually a model that cannot be moded and has actually not been moded from another shop that sells PSPs. Imagine the frustration it causes when even after consulting with the seller, he continues lying through his teeth that the fault lies not with him but is actually due to poor downloading sites and improper uploads.

F**K it...

I seriously cannot stand dishonest salesmen, especially those who continue lying even after their sham has been exposed.

Buyer beware: if you intend to go to the shop named Games Factoryz [#02-07] in Queensway (Singapore) avoid it at all costs and to all the good Samaritans who feel the same way about these dishonest practices, do me a favor and do as you wish with those salesmen there also, to Jasper if you are reading this "F u and your F-ing shop"

Labels: crack, cracked, games factoryz, mod, moded, PSP, psp slim, Queensway

posted at [9:08 PM]

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Monday, February 23, 2009

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

*Tears-hair-out*

ok enough of the drama...

A levels results are to be released next week (according to a friend of mine). the results are kind of a long over-drawn wait but yea...

oh well, here's a quote i found rather relevant regardless of our results...what ever it may be:
"When a door closes, another opens. But often we tend to spend too much time regretting about the closed door that we miss the next opened door."

Work in school has finally felt more relaxing... hahas

thanks to lesser teachers going on mc and more relief teachers around.. Had quite a fun time doing CME lesson again, felt like i was back in JC doing the discussion on organ trading... without the pressure of doing an essay of grading =) had some realli good ideas hitting me that i wished that i had thought of earlier.... oh well no use brooding over that door...

YEC projects have gotten more intense but kinda interesting... oh well with hidden arrows flying around, we try to keep projects that we like abd using that as our shields instead of getting shot with "democracy"-inside joke/story-so wound up with quite a number. Tried to shoot the main archer with an arrow of my own but juz ended up shot with my own arrow.. oh wells, the next time i shoot i will remember not to aim at the master. (references to this paragraph may be quite vague and is mostly only understood by insiders)

thats all for this entry... till next time

posted at [10:21 PM]

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Musings....

ask the winter what it is,
ask the frost, ice and snowy sky.
ask the spring what it is,
ask the blooming flowers why.
ask the summer what it is,
ask the heat and the fiery sky.
ask the autunm what it is,
and the animals hurrying by.

but ask this question above all:
What am I? Who am I?

Random short post inspired by a book i've recently read: "The Lionwolf Trilogy"

posted at [10:46 PM]

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Thursday, January 29, 2009

hey peeps, i think this is kinda overdue but...

Happy Chinese New Year

hahas, yupps finally started my daily relief teaching job, everything's the same as ad hoc but the only difference is that i get paid more per week cos i work every day.. hahas

I've juz discovered something kinda freakish... the fortune telling predictions that i had from the fortune teller in Taiwan, for fun and also to satisfy my curiosity, was actually coming true, i shan't go into details but trust me when i say its coming true--after all i'm the one in question.

had a really fun time yesterday with drew and tim--yes we didn't manage to follow the original plan of going to Sentosa but at least we had fun watching the movie and cam-whoring (photojournal in the next entry if i can get it by then) our progress thru the more artsy side of town...

this year's ang paos have yet to be opened and i'm hoping to get more on sat with guests visiting my house hahas ($_$) ... but the down side to that is that i'm also going for Chingay's post parade party, "city Alive"--can't wait-- so i might be tired out by then... but then again the is always red bull (or its subsitutes) so i guess i will find a way to get enough energy to have fun xD
*hint to those who i got ur tickets for you.. so that you can thank me properly...hahas*

Hahas i guess thats it for now till my next post

posted at [7:46 PM]

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

harlo sorry for e long overdue post hahas was busy keeping the teamelias website alive and current. Was rotting for quite awhile before my teacher called me up for ad hoc relief today, teaching was fun and interesting as usual but i cant really reveal more cos of e official secrets act i signed. But kinda contented today cos i managed to clinch the daily relief job form feb onwards(well almost definite).

On a slightly more random note: to the person who is suffering from what i call post-love-chemical-withdrawal-syndrome i wish the both of you the best of luck and hope that you will at least cherish what you once were, a piece of advice from me (though i cant really claim to be an expert) if you can weather this storm together i sincerely believe that everything will turn out alright. It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.

Looking foward to our sentosa escapade on third dae of CNY (ps any random person is interested in joining us msn me cos we are looking for new additions to our clique =) )

and not forgetting city alive, can't wait (the first clubbing event i go to, and its a street party HAHAs)

Yea thats about it from me for now, till next time......

posted at [10:24 PM]

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